– Ghosting –
The practice of ending a personal relationship with someone by suddenly and without explanation withdrawing from all communication.
I fall both a victim and admittedly an active participant in the art of “Ghosting”.
It’s nice to know that a term for such an awful act was put into the Oxford Dictionary. A monumental time to spread awareness of how hearts are being left disappointed on a daily basis.
You have been speaking for nearly two months now, everything seems to be going just right, you’re wondering if he’ll ask you to be his girlfriend anytime soon – you’re both supposedly perfect for each other and are meant to be.
The batsh*t crazy woman inside you is already in the process of planning your wedding day – including the little but important details very few people would even think of, from the dress you intend on wearing to what colour your toes shall be on the day you both tie the knot.
Then everything begins to trickle down that hill of joy you spent all that time building. Sad, isn’t it? A simple reply to your text message would have prevented the tears currently rolling down your cheeks, you start thinking to yourself “Is it me?” “What did I do wrong?” “Why me?!” “Everything was going so well.”
You have just been ‘ghosted’.
And now you’re sat there gawking at your phone, deliberating whether you should double text, then proceeding to Google ‘How to know if someone has blocked you on WhatsApp’.
You say to yourself ”This will never happen to me again.” Unfortunately, in hopes of finding your soul mate the second ghosting goes by, the third, the fourth, fifth and so on until you’ve reached the pinnacle of learning from the masters of ghosting themselves, and you in turn start doing what you once hated.
You have just ‘ghosted’.
It’s very hard to believe it but you have just become your worst enemy, you saw that message but you chose to completely ignore it and in due course you block them on all social media sources in hopes of them getting the message.
I don’t know about you, but I think: we’re in 2018 and there are over 7,000 living languages in the world. You could have chosen any one of those languages to express your feelings to the other individual rather than leaving them in a state of confusion figuring out what they did wrong. But instead you chose to use the very sophisticated but subtle non-verbal expression known as silence, and you felt absolutely no remorse afterwards.
I’m not really here to tell you why people do ghost nor am I here to bash those who ghost. But in life it’s a lot easier to stay silent and escape your responsibilities, putting yourself first in all situations rather than being considerate and simply telling that person “I’m sorry, but this is not working out. I don’t feel the chemistry between us.” – Or the more preferable option, departing from the ‘situation-ship’ before an involved party begins to catch feelings and to avoid wasting ones time.
It also marks a good time to appreciate the minority of those who do not take part in this activity. The ability to be genuine to others and expressing your feelings very clearly is not a skill possessed by most and is something we must all work on in life.