“Are you guys dating?” | Samir

“Are you guys dating?”
“You like her, don’t you?”
“Are you sure you guys aren’t together?” …

Bruh, I think we know that we aren’t sleeping together or in any sort of romantic relationship.

It’s that age-old question. Can guys and girls be best friends without catching feelings for each other? Well… yes. Yes, we can. Will I convince you? Probably not. Do I want to? Not really. So why am I writing this? Because I want to shed some light on what it’s like having a female best friend and to have the constant questions from literally every and any one we encounter.

I am close to one particular friend, who shall remain anonymous throughout, but people who know me will definitely know who I am talking about and so will she – what up homie?! She has been a brother for many years now and we do what most mates do – hang out. People who know us, will know that we have a family-style friendship, but that doesn’t stop some people questioning our motives. And that’s what is so annoying about all of this. I must stress that it’s the minority I am talking about here.

It doesn’t bother us when we go see a movie together in the cinema and the clerk behind the counter questions our relationship status. He hasn’t met us, and I guess it’s a fair assumption to make. We get that. We either end up telling the truth, or say that we are cousins or siblings or something to avoid any further doubt or that raised eyebrow and the “mmm-hmmm”.

BUT, my friends have known us for some time (or at least known me). I have told them many times that I am not interested in her in that way (and nor is she interested in me), but they still insist on wanting something more and pushing for an admission? Can you see why this can bother someone? Well it never used to, but I guess now it’s becoming frustrating. It’s not so much people not understanding the dynamic of the relationship (because it can be unusual for some), but rather, they genuinely just don’t believe it. They think that I am hiding my “true feelings”, and that I keep denying myself of what I sincerely want. You know that sort of garbage. Hey, not hating on that type of talk, when it is necessary. But when I have told you something and you know me and know how I am, don’t be coming at me with that kinda wishy washy talk. Please Man is not hot! You are pretty much saying you know me better than I know myself. And, well… you kinda look like an idiot for thinking that.

See what you are doing is, inadvertently, calling me a liar. In its essence, if you maintain that guys and girls can’t be best friends and you query the relationship, especially when you know that person, you’re doubting that person’s honesty.

At the end of the day, I understand that there are those who just don’t have that type of relationship with the opposite sex. I have always said that I have been closer to women than men, probably because I am quite a feminine guy. No shame in admitting that. But just because you don’t have that relationship and you can’t be best friends with that person, doesn’t mean everyone else is the same.

My mate and I, are chums and I love the gal. We are super close and chill out often. Because we are friends. It is a pure, simple friendship and that is all it will be.

So, you can keep up with the questions and the love-guru mantra, but know we are going to be chilling out the next day laughing at you with a glass of wine and a crappy movie in the background. Because that is what best friends do. Just an FYI.

– Samir

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